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Don't forget all ofyour friends that are here for you too." Paul... That's the main thing that's bothering me... Well not that I haveyou, or friends, that are here for me... It's just that... Look, Iunderstand exactly how a lot of people are going to treat me... Holly hasshown me, and most of the school administrators, exactly how a lot ofpeople are going to be... I know how it's going to be for me, but do youunderstand that? Do my friends?" I say softly."Of course, we know that...", He said sounding a bit upset, "Why do youthink that we are here for you?" Wait... That's not what I meant.", I pleaded. The last thing I was tryingto do was make him mad at me, so I continued much more carefully, "What Imeant was, that you and all of my friends are going to endure the same asI do, simply for being with me... Why do you guys want to deal withthat... I don't understand..." Warm tears started to streak down my coldcheeks...Paul's expression softened, "Rebecca... You still don't get it, do. Can we talk aboutsomething else now please? Please."Please tell me I just did not blow it with this guy I'm now thinking, asok get it together Jena, and let's see if this goes anywhere. I wasnever at the point in my life where I'm like this guy is exactly thetype I want to be with, but now this was the closest I ever felt tothat.Well I'm sitting there with a guy that's nice, definitely interested inme, freaking good looking and seems like the type I've been wanting tomeet for maybe five years, and I'm fucking it up.Thing is even if you feel good about yourself looking pretty or making aconnection, sometimes you just don't have that type of confidence, and Istill didn't. In retrospect, he said we never had an awkward silence butit felt like a month, but what would be a sign of things to come was healways knew how to put me at ease, and he did."Sure, and I noticed you changed your hair a little too?" he said with asmirk on his face. "I like it, but maybe not as good for catching.
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